for my son

My baby, my lil prince..
i didn't love you in the beginning.. sure i adored you but i was afraid to express my love for you cuz i wasn't sure i did... But i went through with my responsibilities.. i fed you, bathed you, changed you.. they became a routine and yet i didn't feel the love for you. It felt more like a responsibility.. You were MY responsibility...
All you did was cry and poop... and you were response-less... yet you took away my sleep, you took away my strength, you took away my freedom. you gave me pain, you gave me tears and you gave me misery...
i wanted to get away from you... from your cries... i wanted to give up nursing you because of the unbearable pain.. yet i couldn't... i felt guilty for wanting to abandon God's precious gift... i wanted you and i was blessed to have you... i couldn't just leave...
Now i can't help falling in love with you! Seeing you grow in front of my eyes makes it all worth it. My world is filled with joy... when you smile, when you look into my eyes and give me your biggest toothless grin... you melt my heart everytime you do that... i even enjoy hearing you cry, knowing that you need me and all the things that assure me that you will be ok and you will be very well loved...